Let’s have a little chat, woman to woman.
You ever been in a room, vibing, looking good, speaking facts, minding your business, and you notice him shrinking? His energy shifts. He goes quiet. He looks uncomfortable. And somehow, you’re the one left wondering, Did I say too much? Was I doing too much? Should I have dialed it back a little?

Nah, sis. You were doing exactly what you were supposed to do. 

Keep doing that.

We live in a time where young Black millennial women are breaking every ceiling that tried to hold us back….earning degrees, building businesses, buying homes, walking in purpose, and still showing up looking like the moment. But with all that glow, there’s this weird pattern that keeps coming up: Men claiming they’re “intimidated.”

Let’s set the record straight.

It’s Not Intimidation. It’s Insecurity.

When a man says he’s “intimidated” by a successful woman, what he’s really saying is: I don’t know how to show up in this dynamic. And guess what? That’s not your burden to carry.

You didn’t work this hard, cry those tears, silence those doubts, and hustle your way into healing just to shrink when someone else hasn’t done their work. You are not responsible for managing his ego, overcompensating to make him feel “big,” or dulling your shine so he can feel a little taller in your light.

That’s not partnership. That’s emotional labor. And we’ve done enough of that.

You’re Not “Too Much” You’re Just Enough for the Right One.

This idea that we have to play small, water ourselves down, or pretend like we don’t know what we bring to the table just to keep a man’s interest? Played. Out.

If your ambition, intellect, and energy make him uncomfortable, he’s not your person. And that’s okay. Everyone isn’t supposed to sit at your table. Some people are just meant to admire it from afar wishing they were ready for it.

Don’t internalize his fear. Don’t let it morph into self-doubt. You’re not bossy, you’re a boss. You’re not intimidating, you’re powerful. You’re not “too independent” you’re self-sufficient. And the right one? He won’t just handle it, he’ll celebrate it.

The “Strong Black Woman” Label Isn’t a Personality Trait

A lot of men (and society in general) have this warped idea of the “strong Black woman.” They expect us to carry everything gracefully and in heels and then blame us for being “hard” when we develop boundaries or standards.

But sis, strength isn’t just about survival anymore. We’re in our thriving era. Soft life and success can exist at the same time. Let your joy, peace, ease, and luxury speak louder than their projections. You don’t have to over-explain your softness, or overperform your strength. You’re allowed to be both.

Keep Thriving, Even When It’s Quiet

Sometimes it feels lonely, especially when you’re constantly told you’re “doing too much” just for existing in your power. But remember this: You’re not alone. There’s an entire generation of millennial Black women out here rewriting the rules, breaking generational cycles, and building lives we don’t need to escape from.

We’re choosing purpose over pressure. Peace over performative love. Wholeness over half-baked connections. And yes, that may ruffle a few egos along the way. Let them be ruffled.

Keep Being Her.

There’s a quote I love that says: “Be exactly who they said you couldn’t be.” And I want you to take that energy into every room, every date, every dream, every season.

Don’t apologize for your ambition. Don’t shrink for love. Don’t mute your voice to make someone else feel louder. Your glow doesn’t need permission. And if a man ever makes you feel like you’re “too much,” remind yourself: He’s just not enough for where you’re going.

Stay soft, stay strong, stay stunning.
You were never meant to dim. You were meant to shine unapologetically.