Any other millennials can’t swim but just want to look cute by the pool or on the beach?

Because same.

For my birthday, I went on a 14-day vacation that took me to Jamaica, Aruba, Costa Rica, Curaçao, Colombia, and Cozumel. Basically? I spent two weeks living my best life… completely surrounded by water. Crystal blue water. Tropical water. The kind of water that makes you want to post slow-motion reels and sip something with an umbrella in it.

There was only one problem.

I can’t swim.

Learning how to swim has been on my to-do list for years. I’ve attempted it a few times, told myself “this is the year,” and then life did what life always does, got busy. So instead of learning, I mastered the art of standing in shallow water and looking unbothered.

In Aruba, I got into a pool that was about four feet deep. No big deal. I could stand comfortably, feel cute, and enjoy myself. But the moment I realized I was drifting toward the deeper end? Internally, I panicked. Calm on the outside. Spiraling on the inside. I quickly found my way back and stayed exactly where my feet could touch the ground. I never went underwater.

Cozumel was my last stop, and I was looking forward to sand, sunshine, and water therapy. But while on the beach, I felt heavily pressured to go underwater and see the beautiful fish swimming around. Everyone kept saying, “Just go a little further,” and “You’ll be fine.” But the thought of going under, even just past the standing area, sent my anxiety through the roof. I almost gave up completely and got out of the water.

Almost.

Eventually, I put on goggles and did the unthinkable. I went underwater.

And wow.

I saw the most beautiful tropical fish swimming effortlessly around me. It felt unreal, like a screensaver, a documentary, paradise. I didn’t stay under long enough to fully embrace it, but in that moment, something clicked.

“I was not afraid of water, I had a fear of going under and drowning. And thats still very much the case.”

That realization changed everything. The fear wasn’t irrational. It was rooted in the fact that I don’t know how to swim. But that brief underwater view? It encouraged me to finally stop putting this off.

Here’s how I plan to fully overcome my fear of drowning:

1. Learning how to swim (for real this time).
Adult swim lessons. No shame. No ego. Just me, a patient instructor, and the basics.

2. Getting comfortable with water on my terms.
Floating, breathing exercises, shallow water practice, no pressure, no rush, and absolutely no forced submersion.

3. Relaxing and releasing the panic narrative.
My body needs to learn that water doesn’t automatically mean danger. Relaxing, trusting myself, and letting go of perfection is part of the journey.

If you’re a millennial who missed swimming lessons as a kid, you’re not behind. You’re just on your own timeline. Fear doesn’t mean weakness sometimes it means self-awareness. And growth doesn’t always look like diving in headfirst. Sometimes it looks like goggles, shallow water, and one brave breath at a time.

We’re allowed to learn late. We’re allowed to take our time. And yes we’re still allowed to look cute while doing it.