For as long as I can remember, we’ve been reminded to “be mindful of how we treat others.” It’s a beautiful reminder, rooted in kindness and consideration. But lately, I’ve been reflecting on the other side of that coin: how mindful are we about the way others treat us?

It’s not selfish to pause and notice the energy people bring into our lives. In fact, it’s necessary. Relationships whether friendships, family ties, or romantic connections are built on reciprocity. They thrive when there’s a balance of giving and receiving. But when we find ourselves constantly pouring into others while receiving crumbs in return, it’s time to reevaluate.

When People Show You Who They Are

There’s a quote I love that says, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It’s simple but powerful. Too often, we make excuses for people’s behavior, explaining away their lack of effort, presence, or care. We tell ourselves they’re busy, distracted, or just not good at expressing themselves. And while all of those things may occasionally be true, consistent patterns tell the real story.

People show us who they are not only through their words, but through their actions especially when it matters most. Think about the times you needed support. Did they show up? Did they check in? Did they celebrate your wins, even the small ones?

Special occasions, birthdays, graduations, book signings, career milestones often serve as mirrors that reflect the depth of our connections. It’s not about expecting material gifts or grand gestures. It’s about presence, effort, and acknowledgment. When someone can’t be bothered to show up for you in the ways that count, it may be time to ask yourself why you continue to hold space for them in your life.

The Weight of Excuses

We live in a culture that teaches us to forgive endlessly, to extend grace even when it drains us. And yes, grace has its place. But so does accountability. When people repeatedly fail to show up, it’s not about forgiveness anymore, it’s about recognizing patterns. The weight of excuses can become so heavy that it holds us hostage in one-sided relationships.

Being mindful of how people treat us doesn’t mean we cut people off at the first sign of disappointment. It means we start to pay attention. We notice how someone’s actions align, or don’t align with their words. We stop romanticizing potential and start honoring reality.

Protecting Your Peace

Protecting your peace is an act of self-love. It doesn’t require loud confrontations or dramatic exits. Sometimes, it simply means adjusting expectations. Other times, it may mean creating distance altogether. The goal is not to punish anyone but to prioritize your emotional well-being.

When we’re mindful of how people treat us, we begin to recognize who values us and who doesn’t. We begin to understand that showing up isn’t just about convenience, it’s about commitment. And that recognition allows us to move with clarity rather than confusion.

A Gentle Reminder

As you head into this week, I want you to sit with this: Are people showing up for you in a way that you think they should? Are they showing up at all?

Be mindful of how you allow people to treat you, especially during your most special occasions. Because at the end of the day, you deserve to be surrounded by people who see you, value you, and celebrate you, not just when it’s easy, but when it truly counts.