For as long as I can remember, we’ve been told to “meet people where they are.” The advice comes with good intentions we’re supposed to be patient, empathetic, understanding. But what if I told you that meeting people where they are is sometimes exactly what keeps us stuck, disrespected, and drained?

This week, I want to flip the script. Instead of always bending ourselves to accommodate others’ behavior, let’s talk about leaving people where they’ve got us messed up. Let me explain.

Too often, we’ve believed that no matter where someone is in life or how bad or good of a person they are we must meet them there. That might sound compassionate on the surface, but it’s a slippery slope. It allows disrespect to flourish. It allows excuses for hurtful behavior. And more importantly, it gives people permission to treat us any kind of way without consequence.

Take, for example, a friend who consistently shows up late, cancels plans at the last minute, or makes everything about them. If we meet them “where they are,” we continue to excuse their behavior. We rearrange our schedules, lower our expectations, and act like it’s no big deal. Over time, this becomes our norm and suddenly, disrespect is acceptable.

Or think about a coworker who constantly dismisses your ideas in meetings, talks over you, or takes credit for your work. Meeting them where they are accepting it, tolerating it, making allowances doesn’t teach them respect. It teaches them they can continue doing the same things without consequence. And it slowly chips away at your confidence, your energy, and your self-worth.

Instead, what if we stopped meeting people where they are? What if, instead, we left them where they have us messed up? Walking away doesn’t have to be dramatic. It’s not about burning bridges at the first offense, it’s about establishing boundaries, recognizing patterns, and refusing to normalize bad behavior.

It looks like this:

• If a friend repeatedly disrespects your time, you don’t rearrange your life for them you step back and let them navigate the consequences of their actions.
• If a partner dismisses your feelings, you stop justifying their behavior and start holding space for yourself instead.
• If a coworker undermines you, you set clear professional boundaries and don’t let their behavior go unchecked.

When we stop making excuses for people, we stop making excuses for why we allow them to treat us poorly. This is exactly what I discussed last week in Mindful Monday: being mindful of how we allow people to treat us. Boundaries aren’t mean, they’re necessary. Respect is earned, not demanded. And our energy is too valuable to give away to people who don’t deserve it.

Walking away or leaving someone where they’ve messed us up can feel uncomfortable at first. There might be guilt, doubt, or even fear. But here’s the truth: allowing people to behave poorly without consequence doesn’t make you a “good” person. It makes you a door mat. And no one ..especially you should have to settle for that.

So this week, I want you to ask yourself: Who have you been meeting where they are, even when they don’t deserve it? Who have you been excusing, tolerating, or bending for at the expense of your peace? Consider leaving them where they’ve got you messed up. Let your boundaries speak louder than your excuses.

Mindfulness isn’t just about how we treat others it’s about how we honor ourselves. This week, choose you. Stop meeting people where they are. Start valuing yourself enough to leave them where they’ve shown they don’t belong.