Are you guilty of detached dating?

Dating in today’s digital age has become incredibly convenient with the rise of dating applications. With just a swipe to the right or left, we have access to a wide array of potential partners. While having many options is usually beneficial, it can sometimes lead to a harmful behavior called detached dating.

Dating without emotional attachment is essentially spending time with someone without forming a deep connection.

Detached dating may appeal to certain individuals who value independence, personal growth, and non-traditional romantic connections. It’s important to recognize that there exists a wide array of dating approaches shaped by personal preferences, beliefs, and unique life experiences.

Some individuals are not conscious of these behaviors, while surprisingly, many individuals are purposefully engaging in them. I happen to be one of them.

I am well-informed about the norms of dating in society, so I approach situations with a deliberate intention to keep my emotions at a distance. I prefer not to form deep connections with others for personal reasons of my own.

I continue to struggle with dismissive avoidant personality traits, primarily as a means of self-protection. When I date, I use the opportunity for self-discovery without delving too deeply into emotional connections. It allows me to explore and understand myself better. I can identify my boundaries, needs, wants, and what I am willing to tolerate. Consequently, I keep my expectations low for both the individual and the situation at hand. Although I have never been in a serious relationship before, I’ve experienced getting hurt, rejected, disappointed, and betrayed, which has caused me to pull away from the concept of creating healthy attachment in relationships.

One method I use to practice detachment is by not constantly being accessible. I truly have a life and I am consistently occupied… however, I prioritize what is important to me, which may not always include making time for a potential romantic partner. Being overly available can give off a sense of desperation or convey that I have little going on in my life. Consequently, I aim to avoid being seen as an easy option, as this can lead to my time being undervalued rather than appreciated.

I Never cancel my plans for a date, they can wait. This builds curiosity/mystery.

Also lead with your intellect rather than your emotions – Men excel at this, and women should also strive to be more logical and less sentimentally attached. Keeping your options open is key. Engaging with only one person at a time can lead to emotional entanglement. Seeing multiple individuals simultaneously helps you stay grounded and less likely to tolerate unacceptable behavior because you know there are other choices available. Avoid developing feelings for potential partners who haven’t proven themselves worthy of a place in your heart or mind. Establish standards for yourself. Be cautious about who you invite into your personal space and intimate relationships. By treating every dating partner equally, granting them access to your personal life and intimacy, these aspects lose their significance and become ordinary rather than special. Remember, you are a unique being, and so is your energy. Allowing someone to get to know and experience you is a privilege, as there is only one of you.