Dear Body,

First, I owe you an apology.

An apology for the times I neglected you while expecting you to keep carrying me through life like nothing was wrong. For the unhealthy eating habits. For the long days of barely moving you but expecting you to still show up strong. For ignoring the signs that you were tired, overwhelmed, and begging me to pour back into you.

I owe you an apology for every moment I looked in the mirror and criticized you instead of thanking you.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped loving you properly. Confidence slowly faded. My self-esteem became unfamiliar. Clothes that once fit comfortably started feeling tighter. Walking short distances left me out of breath. Even worse, I convinced myself that being uncomfortable in my own body was something I just had to accept.

But the truth is, you never stopped trying for me.

Even when I wasn’t taking care of you the way I should have, you still woke me up every morning. You still carried stress, heartbreak, exhaustion, pressure, and emotions I never properly released. You still showed up for me when I barely showed up for myself.

Honestly, after becoming fibroid free, I had a plan for us. A real plan. I told myself that this new chapter would be different. I promised that after everything you endured, I would finally prioritize your health, protect your peace, and get you back in shape. I owed you that. After all the pain, discomfort, and frustration you carried, you deserved softness, discipline, care, and healing from me. Somewhere along the way, life happened and I drifted away from that promise, but I haven’t forgotten it.

This week, for the first time in a long time, I finally listened to you.

Four days in a row in the gym, four days of movement, four days of choosing myself and it has been more therapeutic than I expected.

The gym has become more than just a place to lose weight. It has become a mental release, a safe space, a reminder that I am still capable of rebuilding myself one day at a time. My body is sore in places I forgot existed, but strangely enough, the soreness feels rewarding. It reminds me that I’m finally doing something for me instead of against me.

I’ve been focusing a lot on core workouts, lower body training, cardio, and incorporating weights into my routine. Every workout may not be perfect, but every workout is proof that I’m trying. Proof that I’m no longer abandoning myself.

While my current journey is starting in the gym, I already know I want this lifestyle change to grow into something even bigger. At some point, I want to transition into Pilates, cycling, and daily outdoor walks. I want movement to become something I genuinely enjoy instead of something I dread. I want wellness to become a form of self-love instead of punishment.

This summer feels different for me.

Being off work has given me time to spend with myself in a way I haven’t done in years. Instead of pouring every ounce of energy into everyone else, I’m finally learning how to pour back into me. Part of that healing includes getting fit, becoming healthier, and reconnecting with the woman underneath all the stress, exhaustion, and self-neglect.

I know this journey won’t happen overnight. There will be hard days. Days when motivation is low. Days when the scale may frustrate me. Days when insecurity tries to creep back in, but this time, I’m not chasing perfection. I’m chasing consistency. I’m chasing peace. I’m chasing the feeling of looking at myself and feeling proud again.

So, dear body, thank you for not giving up on me even when I gave up on myself at times. Thank you for still fighting for me. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to start over.

This is my promise to you: I’m going to take care of you better. I’m going to move you, nourish you, rest you, and love you properly.

To my readers, I want you all to know that I’ll be taking you on this fitness journey with me. The good days, the hard days, the workouts, the progress, the lessons, and the growth. This isn’t just about losing weight. This is about gaining myself back.