Ladies, Get What You Want in Bed

“Women are not empowered to speak up about their sexual wants and needs. Let’s change that.”

-Nicole Sade

Although people are having less sex, ladies, its time to be honest when it comes to our wants and needs in bed. We are out here having sex and not being sexually satisfied and its not fair! We’re always putting on our best performance trying to ensure we’re great in bed but the fellas are not giving what needs to be gave. We have to stop sending them on their way thinking they have done something when they actually didn’t. And STOP TELLING LIES DURING SEX! It only boost their egos.

Recently, I was apart of a few group discussions amongst millennial women. Many of them are in long term relationships and they have one thing in common, they’ve never had an orgasm. That’s some BS.

Many women don’t orgasm during sex because their partners don’t pay attention to clitoral stimulation or other things that drives us in bed. Now is the time to speak up.

It’s mind blowing to know that there’s a large percentage of women that has gone years in a relationship and never experienced an orgasm. The priority has always been about the man getting his. Well times have changed and the ladies are speaking up about their wants and needs in bed because we wont ours, we deserve it.

Here’s a list of things we really want in bed from our partner but don’t ask for.

To Take Their Time

MORE FOREPLAY PLEASE! Touch and explore the body. Spend enough time caressing and teasing. Some of us don’t like when the fellas stick it in too quickly BECAUSE WHY ARE YOU IN A HURRY SIR? With sex being so personal both parties should know their body but the man has to explore it and know what works when it comes to us. Also make sure we’re comfortable and relaxed.

To Figure Out What Works

When will men understand you cant make love to every woman the same way. There’s some uniqueness to every woman’s body. We’re all different therefore he needs to learn the body and figure out what works. Penetration is not enough.

To Take Control

Now some of us just don’t have it in bed and prefer the man stepping up and making it a great experience for both parties. Although we want to be teased, be a little soft yet aggressive, passionate and rough.

To Take Care of us Mentally

At times we need a little reassurance. Compliments here and there while in bed can go a long way. Sex can be an extremely vulnerable situation, so if you’re not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you may find it more difficult to enjoy sex. When your self-esteem is high, the experience will be incredible.

To Have the Sex Talk

Although most women shy away from the discussion, it should still take place just to ease away the fear if there is some. When there’s fear it causes stress and a disconnect which will appear in bed. Speaking of talking.. during sex talk some more. Some of us like moans and whispers in the ear.


This is the one!! Ladies, we’re not being stimulated. Part of it is because they don’t know what to do, let alone know the body. And let me say this.. the penis alone is not enough.

To Cuddle With Us

Especially after sex. When a man immediately hops up to clean himself up and dismiss a woman, it can make her feel a bit insecure. Spend some time just laying there embracing one another. Then go clean up together.

Now who’s sending this to the last person that couldn’t satisfy them in bed? LOL

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