Everybody is falling into the “soft life” trend and I love that for our young black women. We know our worth and no longer waiting for others to give us the respect and love that we deserve. We are over struggle love, stress, distress, fake relationships and burn outs from our 9-5 jobs. We’re no longer chasing but attracting what’s meant for us.

According to Urban Dictionary, a soft life consists of ease, peace, comfort, and intentional happiness. For me it includes mutual relationships, clarity, self-care and no stress.

A few years ago, I fell into the girl boss wave. I thought I needed to hustle, work and grind from 9-5 and then 5-9, so I could live a luxury lifestyle while proving I was a boss. Eventually I became burnt out. I realized what’s more important to me than being a boss and live a luxurious lifestyle is time to relax, be at peace, and do the things I love which ideally made my life softer.

Let me be the first to tell you, living a soft life is not putting wear and tear on your mind and body chasing a bag. Soft life is a mentality. It’s about the decisions you make and the boundaries you hold. In addition, its about the company we keep and the environment that we put ourselves in.

I guess it’s safe to say I’m in my soft girl season. Although I’m still working my 9-5 and a few projects outside of it, I’m no longer in survival mode. I do things in a peaceful manner. I don’t allow my job to stress me and I don’t get upset when I don’t make my own deadlines. I prioritize peace, self-love and relaxation over stress, anger and frustration. I embrace my softness and I flourish in it without fear.

There’s a few tools I’ve implemented into my lifestyle that I think could be helpful tips for you.

Self-Care Routines

Recently, I created a list for women to incorporate self -care into their routines on Sundays. Take a look at it and incorporate them in your life daily.

Have Emotional Intelligence

Determine how you will respond to major disappointments and minor inconveniences. Yes things will happen while you’re on this journey but, you’re responsible for how you react. I’ve learned to live a soft life, you must take control of your emotions and maintain a positive outlook on life, even when you’re bothered. Become unbothered.

Become Feminine

Honestly, I tired of walking around with masculine energy. I carried it for so long for so many reasons. I knew it was time to soften up. I figured the only way to attract certain things in life I had to become softer. I was operating in the do-it-all cultural ideal that many Black women find themselves striving to be. Don’t get me wrong, I can still accomplish all that I set myself out to do but in a softer way.

Build a Community

I strongly encourage you to join or build a community of women who’s pursuing a soft life. Not because its a trend but, because its something they really want. I haven’t quite gotten there yet but, I live through several black women that preach about their soft life on Instagram.

Create Boundaries in All Relationships

When is the last time you sat down and reevaluated all of your relationships whether it’s romantic, friendly, or work-related? If they are toxic, draining or not supportive, feel free to remove them or deal with them only at the capacity you can deal with them. This is all about what benefits you. If they are draining let it go.

While living a soft life, you should no longer feel guilty about prioritizing a life that makes you happy. Everything you want, will come to you.

Who’s living a soft life in 2023?