The Relationship Ended and You’re Still Grieving

For some time, grief has been tormenting people all over the world. Many of us only associate grief with losing a love one but, people seem to underestimate the grief that comes after a romantic breakup. No matter how long you’ve been with a partner, for many, a breakup can feel like a sucker punch to the stomach and most importantly the heart.

Somewhere between your third I-can’t-get-off-the-couch or out of the bed and re-reading all the texts you swore you wouldn’t re-read but, that you should have been deleted, you start to wonder when the hurt and heartache will end but sis that’s totally up to you!

Breakups are not easy and it can be difficult to heal those wounds. Studies says most people start feel better after three months when actually it can take a lot longer. Most people fail to realize, we cannot rush our heart to heal. It’ll only make it worse.

The emotions that comes with the end of a relationship can be all over the place. Some individuals develop depression or experience post traumatic relationship disorder, while others may rely on too many blunts a day…iykyk, alcohol, pills and a lot more.

Even though a breakup can cause all of these emotions lets not forget loneliness, and a loss of sense of self all of which can manifest physically.

Let’s be real ladies before we get in the gym and make them regret leaving we be out here looking busted and disgusted temporarily. You’ll think we lost a dog. However, this feeling don’t last forever.

When grieving a relationship, its ok to be in.

Denial can be challenging to face the reality that a relationship is over even when we are the one to call it off. While in the phase, you’re very clear on what happened but you still have some type of hope for the relationship. Ultimately, denial can stop you from progressing and moving forward.

Anger towards your partner or maybe yourself is normal. It is apart of the grieving process until you’re willing to accept the change. Most people spend this time trying to figure out what went wrong and how they could have done things differently. AND PLEASE DON’T LET THEM MOVE ON… just go ahead have your family to put money on your books. I will say this, don’t let your anger cause you to make any rash decisions that you’ll later regret. Find a better way to express your emotions.

Bargaining is not where its at!
Do not try to restore your relationship by rebuilding it as a friendship. Your feelings will always e at the center of it. Trying to befriend an ex, especially after a romantic breakup will only keep the pain of the heartbreak at the forefront no matter how you try to act like its okay, it is not. Invest that time into yourself and a new person.

Depression is real and it is normal to be sad. You’ll feel like there’s no hope and you’re useless. At this point you come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over and there’s not turning back. You will find yourself doing a lot of reflecting, you isolate yourself, or if you’re anything like me you’ll try to keep busy as possible. I don’t recommend doing that because it’ll catch up with you. TRUST ME. Distracting yourself from grief wont last always. You still have to process what happen and take the necessary steps to heal.

Acceptance occurs while you’re still facing all of the other emotions but, you’re open to accepting your new reality and moving forward.
In this stage, I found myself piecing together what ALL happened(my end and theirs), acknowledged the part I played in it, and accepted it for what it was. I can say I learned from my mistakes and plan to not do it again in the future.

If you’re currently grieving from a romantic breakup, I hope that you heal properly but, while healing embrace the journey you’re on with an open mind, accept what is and move on from what ain’t. This is the healthiest way to fully accept a breakup and grow as an individual. The pain may not be gone completely yet, but time will heal those wounds. It’s time to blossom and become the woman you desire to be!


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