Women all over the world are starving for sensual and sexual pleasure. Although society may have you to believe that having the absolute best sex depends on whether your partner can hold it down or not, those of us who know better understand that having orgasms is a bit more complex than that.

While some women may hit the mountaintop supernaturally, for others it can be frustrating to come close to climaxing. There are more factors affecting the ability to climax than you probably realize.

There’s a strong possibility you’re just not into your partner. Being a demisexual, makes it hard to believe people are just having A LOT of sex with A LOT of people and are walking away satisfied each time.

I mean think about it… think back on the times when you have had an orgasm, how did you feel about your partner at the time? And when you weren’t, how did you feel about them then?

Are you are having casual sex even though you do not enjoy it? Everyone else seems to enjoy it so you are trying to figure out how to have “sex without feelings”. You crave deeper connection and a committed relationship yet too afraid to admit it to those you date.

You are obviously having sex with someone you do not actually like or truly attracted to. There is no real interest nor passion towards your partner. There is a chance they are a complete stranger and there is a lack of trust, vulnerability and intimacy.

When a woman feels safe with a man, there’s no limit to what she is willing to do for or with him. Are you emotionally secured with this person? Do you feel protected? Does he make you feel like he can handle your vulnerabilities and insecurities? Does he make you feel like what happens between the two of you remains there and that you are not being compared to anyone else or judged? If your partner does not make you feel safe, you cant be in the moment because your emotions are not involved.

Perhaps you’re still recovering from sexual trauma and muscles in your vagina is preventing you from having an orgasm. While trauma can impact someone’s sexual orientation, it is more likely to change how they experience intimacy and the physical act of sex.

Many women experience tension in their vaginal muscles due to rough sex, emotional stress and blockages as well as unpleasant and painful sexual experiences and abuse.

Certain sexual can be triggering. During sex, women feel pressured to do certain sexual acts that they do not enjoy or can be physically harming while the ultimate goal is to please their partner. In addition, you are worried about an unwanted pregnancy or STD’s. You may find yourself too shy to ask your partner to use a condom or show you their STD test results.

Lastly, You’ve heard that many women struggle to orgasm during sex so you assume that its a normal thing that you do not either. Well its not normal. While you are trying to impress your partner during sex instead of enjoying yourself and your body you’ll walk away unsatisfied. It is common for most females to not only be vocal about their sexual desires but they aren’t aware of their partners either. Maybe you are too insecure to give feedback or ask for something different from your partner for fear of hurting their feelings. You pretend that you are enjoying yourself even though you are not. Ladies, get what you want in bed. The kind of sex you are having is not in alignment with your true desires. Having rough sex while yearning for sensual love-making is selling yourself short.
Don’t feel ashamed about your true kinks/desires. Don’t worry about being rejected for your “weirdness”.