“Many people want it, but only a select number actually possess it.”
-Nicole Sade’
Walking in self-confidence tends to be more of a gradual process, with under-the-radar decisions and a shift in attitude that eventually leads you to where you want to go. Self-confidence is easy to spot but hard to develop. It is the key to success, both in your personal and professional life. It’s an essential trait that helps you believe in yourself and your abilities, which will uiltmately make you more resilient and confident in dealing with life’s challenges.
However, building self-confidence is not an easy task.
Everyone wants to be self-confident but, many don’t know how to start building it. Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.
There was a time I struggled with self-confidence. Although I’m still working through it I realized it at my last job where I worked as staff reporter.
Due to a lack of self-confidence, I would always feel trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, negative self-talk and anxiety which ultimately affected my writing. Not tremendously, but there was room to grow. I felt like I wasn’t in the best environment to be the best NICOLE I was set out to be.
Feeling this way not only impacted my performance but also how I showed up for my peers, family and those in my community (YOU). This wasn’t noticeable but, I saw it and began to voice it to my therapist. That’s when we discovered I lacked self-confidence.
To boost my self-confidence and achieve my goals personally and professionally I …
Identified my strengths and weaknesses The first step in building self-confidence is to identify your strengths and weaknesses. While I was self-reflecting, I took some time to reflect on my skills, talents, and abilities. I asked myself, Nicole, what are you good at? What do people compliment you on? What are you proud of?
In addition, I thought about areas where I struggled or needed improvement. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses will help you focus on what you’re good at and work on areas where you need to improve. Figuring these things out allowed me to find some sort of balance. Instead of focusing a lot on my weaknesses, I realized my strengthens is what made me who I really am and that’s what people see first.
Spend more time thinking about your superpowers and what makes you unique, and remind yourself your wins at the end of the day. Celebrate who you are and your achievements every day. Big or small.
Reserved time for myself by practicing self-care. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. That’s where setting aside time to care for you. Taking care of yourself is essential for building self-confidence. It is important that you are in tune with your mind, body, heart and soul. Lately, I’ve been heavily focusing on taking care of my physical and mental health. I have been consistent with exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep and I must say, I feel amazing.
Practice self-compassion Self-compassion is essential for building self-confidence. Be kind to yourself and avoid negative self-talk. Instead of focusing on your mistakes, focus on what you can learn from them. When I decided to put my past failures behind me and write about them here, I learned so many of you all experienced some of the same traumatic experiences. Instead of dwelling in them, we have grown and moved on. Remember everyone makes mistakes, and it’s part of the learning process. We are not perfect but, we tend to be our worst enemies. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend. Be encouraging, inspiring and uplifting.
Let go of social media Social media is not a problem, per se. However, many of you or us have built the habit of comparing what we’re doing with what everyone else is doing. Maybe a celebrity. Social comparison which means comparing yourself to other people can contribute to feelings of envy which can mess with your self-esteem, ultimately bringing down your self-confidence. So, while social media may be great in moderation, don’t forget to unplug and remember that what you’re seeing is a super-curated, highly edited version of real life.
Instead of unplugging, I cleaned up my social media feed. I only follow inspirational accounts and women who are doing the very thing I want to accomplish.
Know when to draw the line Want to know one helpful way to instill more trust in yourself? Understand YOU and what wont work for you. This will allow you to say NO! Whether it’s your best frenemy or a coworker, setting that boundary will get you far and most importantly it teaches people how you want to be treated.
Spend time with people that lifts me up Surround yourself with positive people who see the best in you and say it often. We’ve all had people in our lives that would leave you feeling negative or drained, consider ways to spend less time with them. Surround yourself with people that will celebrate you and your accomplishments.
“Quality relationships with people who lift you up increase your self-confidence and energy.”
Recite positive affirmations Instead of waiting for inspirational and motivational quotes to come across your newsfeed, you can start writing your own affirmations and speaking them over yourself every day. It’s important that you SPEAK them and put them into the atmosphere. Spend time with your affirmations daily and repeat them more than 10 times.
“Positive affirmations can build confidence by reminding you of your self-worth.”
Building self-confidence takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. Growing in this aspect can impact your life and the life of the ones you love, as the self-confidence energy is contagious! Many wont be able to take you and that’s perfectly fine. Chin up, shoulders straight and keep moving forward.
