Is it possible to be genuinely happy for someone and still have their happiness remind you of something you’re grieving?

Lately, my timeline has been FULL of engagement announcements.

The ring photos. The shocked faces. The “I said YES!” captions. The surprise proposals caught on camera. The couples who have apparently mastered the art of making the rest of us feel like we need to check our own relationship status.

And let me be clear: I love to see it.

I love seeing women get the love they prayed for. I love seeing people find their person, build a life together and step into a new chapter. There is something beautiful about watching someone you know experience a moment they’ve dreamed about, but sometimes, right behind my genuine happiness for them comes another feeling.

A little sting.

Not jealousy.

Not bitterness.

Just… a reminder.

A reminder that there was a time when I thought I would be next.

There Was a Time I Thought I Was Next

I think a lot of women can relate to this. You get into a relationship and, at some point, you stop thinking about if you’re going to get married and start thinking about when.

You start imagining what your engagement might look like. You think about the wedding. You picture the house, the holidays, the family traditions, the vacations and all the little things that come with building a life with someone.

You aren’t necessarily walking around with a Pinterest board titled “My Wedding” open on your phone, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ve started writing the story.

Then life happens.

The relationship ends.

The future you imagined doesn’t happen.

Then suddenly, you’re left realizing that you weren’t just losing a relationship. You were also saying goodbye to a version of your life that you thought was coming.

For me, that’s the part that can still be triggering.

It’s not that I look at someone else’s engagement and think, “That should have been me with him.”

No.

Sometimes I look at it and think, “I thought I’d be there by now.”

Those are two very different things.

Sometimes It’s the Time You Grieve

I think one of the hardest things about starting over is realizing that you can’t get your time back.

You can learn the lessons, you can become wiser, you can heal, you can become more intentional about who you allow into your life, but you can’t rewind the clock and sometimes that realization hurts.

Especially when you’re watching other people move into the chapter you thought you were preparing for.

You start wondering:

When will it be my turn?

Did I fall behind?

Am I going to have to start all over again?

Will I ever get the love I’ve been hoping for?

If we’re being honest, sometimes “everything happens when it’s supposed to” isn’t necessarily comforting.

Because okay… but WHEN? LOL.

I’m human, I have moments when I want the answer, too.

I’m Still Hopeful

The beautiful thing is that being triggered doesn’t mean I’ve lost hope.

It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love.

It doesn’t mean I’m bitter about marriage, and it definitely doesn’t mean I want someone else’s relationship to fail just because I’m still waiting for my own.

I can celebrate someone else’s engagement and still acknowledge that it brought up something tender in me.

Both things can exist at the same time.

Maybe that’s part of healing that we don’t talk about enough. Healing doesn’t always mean you stop feeling something.

At times it means you can feel it without letting it consume you.

So yes, sometimes I see the engagement announcement and smile, and sometimes I see it, smile, and then quietly think, “Lord… when is it my turn?”

And that’s okay.

I’m learning not to shame myself for that question.

I don’t know when my time will come. I don’t know what my engagement will look like, who will be standing beside me or what season of life I’ll be in when it happens, but I still believe there is more love ahead of me.

Until then, I’ll keep celebrating the women who get their “yes.”

I’ll cheer for the proposals, I’ll double-tap the ring pictures, I’ll watch the proposal videos, I’ll genuinely be happy for them, and I’ll remind myself that someone else’s timeline is not evidence that mine is behind.

My story is still being written.

Maybe the chapter I’m in right now isn’t about waiting for someone to choose me. Maybe it’s about becoming so secure in who I am that when the right love does arrive, it adds to the life I’ve already built, not becomes the thing that finally makes it complete.

So congratulations to all the newly engaged women filling my timeline.

Seriously.

I’m happy for you.

Even if, every now and then, your “YES!” makes me whisper…

“Okay God. I see them. I’m still available whenever You’re ready.”