Social Media for Validation

“I’m never posting my guy until he proposes or we’re married…barely then!” -Nicole Sade

As humans, we naturally crave attachment and validation. In the age of the Internet and technology, social media has become the place we turn to just to validate and solidify our commitment to our romantic partnerships. We have begun appreciating moments in our lives based on the acceptability of social media. Social media has society convinced that nothing is solidified unless you post it for the world to see it. Let me just say this… social media does not validate or solidify your romantic relationship. Posting your relationship can negatively and positively affect your relationship.

When posting you’ll have to deal with

Negative Comparisons

Social media makes it easier for us to compare our relationships to what most celebrities or social influencers post. According to a recent study, the bigger role social media plays in a persons life the less satisfying their romantic relationship are. In the past, I found myself strolling on social media seeing couples do fun and adventurous things which made me question my relationship in that particular area. This ultimately made my relationship satisfaction decrease. I had to learn those people weren’t displaying the negative aspects of their relationship but here I am in a happy situation wanting what social media influencers were projecting.

Jealousy

Keep in mind….While you’re posting for likes, comments, and words of affirmation there are some evil people out here. You may very well get the likes and mushy comments but that won’t stop people from forming their own negative opinions about you and your partner and the overall relationship. Whether your relationship is good or bad people will hate …especially the exes.

What if it don’t work out?

I don’t know about you but I was rooting for Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey. I actually thought they were a beautiful couple and that it would last. But I say that to say they took amazing photos and did amazing things with one another that we got to see on social media. Now, they’ve split and Lori has taken all of that content down. Oh and lets not talk about the rumor about married MLB player Tim Anderson who’s married and recently got his mistress pregnant. So many women post their new partner throughout the year and it just makes me wonder… “Are y’all not embarrassed?” Why are y’all ok with repeatedly posting your new fling and deleting them when its over? Do you need the world to know that its always somebody around?

When is it safe to post your significant other?

Focus More On

Being Naturally Present

When you’re happy with life and your relationship you’re more present and social media wouldn’t be a distraction. It would occur to you less to take photos or check your feed. Yes at some point you will indulge in social media but not majority of the time. On date nights, I take photos on my phone and Polaroid camera. I even go as far as recording videos just for the sake of “our” memories not the world. When you’re not naturally present and more focused on social media you’re decreasing the time you and your partner could be sharing. Eventually this will cause a break up. Especially if the guy is not on social media for whatever reason… sips tea! Here are several reasons why he may not be on social media!

I’ll be honest.. I’m a little scared to share my person with the world. I THINK I can do without negative and positive comments on social media. As long as we’re happy and important people know that we’re together and happy I CAN DO WITHOUT the world knowing.

Although social media has many negative benefits, it can positively impact your relationship in so many ways. If you’re going to post I suggest…

Setting Boundaries

If you’re going to go public you and your partner should always discuss what should and should not be posted in regards to your relationship. Also you two should establish times designated for social media.

Be transparent and honest

There’s this platform I love called Black Love. If you check out some of their content you’ll see so many successful married couples talk about their journey to a happy marriage. They are very transparent about the good, bad, ugly, disagreements and more. They use the platform to give advice on love, marriage, intimacy, parenting, sex and so much more. Most importantly it displays encouragement for me and methods to making black love last.

It’s ok to post your significant other. I wouldn’t suggest you to post them to validate or solidify your relationship or marriage. I think you and your partner should find a healthy balance between sharing too much and not sharing enough just for the sake of a healthy relationship.

Oh and y’all are wishy washy… one minute these celebrity couples are goals and when they break up y’all take sides…. Girl bye!!!

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